Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize