Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize