he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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