Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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