People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
