yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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