you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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