If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
