You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
