i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
