I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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