I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
