walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
