It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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