Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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