But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
