I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
