Sober January is a disaster.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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