Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
