He is such a slut. More and more my type.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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