ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
