i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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