Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
