Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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