so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
