She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
