Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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