so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
