I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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