Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
