ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this will be a night to untag.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
