Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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