you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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