This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
