Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
