My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just puked most of my soul out..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize