Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
