It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize