you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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