Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
