we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Sober January is a disaster.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
