A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Can you bring me the toilet please
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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