I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize