Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
