Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize