I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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