Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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