No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
try to milk me bitch
Randomize