My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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