We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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