That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize