Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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