Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize