i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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