the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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