he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
