I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
