And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I didn't notice because vodka
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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