I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just pee around me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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