Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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