So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
