Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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