glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
