Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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