you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
