Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
