you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
