what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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